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Location: California

I love paper. Books printed on acid-free paper and bound in cloth turn me on. I'm crazy about bookmarks, and I buy too many stickers. I could spend hours in the build-your-own-greeting card section of my neighborhood craft store. My favorite thing to eat is bread, and my second favorite is fruit. (Mm, pineapple.) I read too much and too fast, and I watch too many food shows (two ways of looking at gluttony). Gloomy, rainy weather calms me and so I can't wait to move out of California, which will happen, sadly, too many years from now to count. I'm vegan, though I haven't managed to eliminate honey from my diet yet. I practice yoga; it's the only way I can keep fit. I have a better life than I ever imagined I would (or deserve to) have, but I do my best to enjoy it rather than feel guilty about it. That's my daily struggle -- and also to be thoughtful and observant and honest with myself.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Two Trees

I went for a walk. I found a tree with young yellow leaves. I thought about its stillness. I thought about my parents who are fighting again and for whom I've become a go-between again because I'm afraid that if they talk directly with one another they will hurt each other in a physical way -- again. They've been caught in this cycle for years, and I've been caught with them. I want it to end. I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of clinging to hope when my parents have long ago given up on it.

I found another tree. The sun was behind its trunk and it made it glow. The world doesn't seem real sometimes. If you look at it from certain angles it seems like a dream someone is dreaming, one of those in which you find yourself naked in front of a crowd and try to run and can't, and think desperately of ways to cover yourself but there aren't any.

2 Comments:

Blogger Michelle Fry said...

I'm sorry to hear about the situation with your parents. It sounds awful. I hope you got some comfort in the stillness of the beautiful trees you photographed so well.

May 28, 2006  
Blogger Green Whale said...

It is a cliche, but nature does have the power to heal you. Thank you for your kind words.

May 29, 2006  

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