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Location: California

I love paper. Books printed on acid-free paper and bound in cloth turn me on. I'm crazy about bookmarks, and I buy too many stickers. I could spend hours in the build-your-own-greeting card section of my neighborhood craft store. My favorite thing to eat is bread, and my second favorite is fruit. (Mm, pineapple.) I read too much and too fast, and I watch too many food shows (two ways of looking at gluttony). Gloomy, rainy weather calms me and so I can't wait to move out of California, which will happen, sadly, too many years from now to count. I'm vegan, though I haven't managed to eliminate honey from my diet yet. I practice yoga; it's the only way I can keep fit. I have a better life than I ever imagined I would (or deserve to) have, but I do my best to enjoy it rather than feel guilty about it. That's my daily struggle -- and also to be thoughtful and observant and honest with myself.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Self Portrait Tuesday


This month's self portrait theme seems to gravitate, for me, toward documenting things that I've never done before. So here's another first: claiming a pejorative expression as my own in order to make it less threatening and hurtful. Well, I guess that's not entirely accurate: I liked "thunder thighs" immediately the first time I heard it spoken -- the "th" sound at the beginning of each word, the image of power that it evokes. The insult part of it doesn't feel very strong at all, in part because English is not my first language (I cringe when I hear swearing in Romanian, but in English very few obscenities really get to me viscerally), and in part because what the words ignite in my mind is the picture of a Kali-like goddess walking the earth, her bare feet thumping, her necklace of skulls rattling around her neck, her face fierce but nevertheless beautiful. (I know Kali is traditionally depicted as hideous.) This photo is my attempt to be unafraid of my body, of its bulk and its strength. It is frailty that is fashionable today, but I cast my vote with ropes of muscle folded inside gorgeous white nourishing fat.


Blogger madness rivera said...

Love it. Thunder thighs is a great term though I know it's meant to be cutting and mean. It is powerful, isn't it? But I think that's why fragility is in vogue (has been more on than off in many decades) -- to keep women from seeming as powerful as we really are.

April 19, 2006  

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